My earlier post about being happy how I turned out gave a little insight into my world with my siblings.
I LOVE to consider myself the "Black Sheep of the Family".
I use this as a metaphor.
Usually the 'black sheep' refers to the one that is not at all like the others and is usually the 'bad one'.
I'm definitely not like the others, but I'm not the bad one.
I grew up with 3 older siblings.
Oldest two are 2 years apart in age.
Then FIVE years goes by....
the 'sister' that I talked about in my earlier post is born;
then me 2 years later.
My parents wanted an even number of children.
I'm 9 years and 7 years younger than the oldest two.
Brother is oldest; then 3 girls.
The oldest girl had trouble when the other sister was born.
It took away my parents attention from her.
So, to compensate, my mother told her that the baby was 'hers'.
This concept followed WELLLLLL into adulthood.
So, my oldest sister wouldn't allow me to be part of their girl group....even into adulthood.
Imagine how much fun 3 sisters in this age range would have had doing sister trips; shopping together; attending craft shows, etc.
In childhood, I was relentlessly teased to a point that I'm totally blank in my mind about school, but vividly clear about the teasing.
There's a 3 year lapse in my memory.
It returned to me once the oldest sister moved out of the house under bad circumstances.
The teasing diminished and my memory returned.
All the while though, I made Banner Roll in Elementary School.
I believe school was my saving grace.
As of today, I now do not communicate with ANY of my siblings.
The sister that I'm writing about (2 yrs older than me) is only in contact with big brother, who BTW is a total narcissist and complete PRICK.
However, she and he are 100% IDENTICAL!
If either would consider that a compliment,
I would have to just laugh.
So, we have a very fucked up "family" dynamic.
I'm empathetic and very caring for people and animals.
I cherish friendships.
I love to love and I love being loved.
I'm a very good listener.
What's important to my friends is important to me.
My friends are also very good listeners.
I love to talk and so do they.
I even have a male BFF that will converse with me for an hour on the phone! Not many males do that! And this isn't just me talking either...he has a lot to talk about. He's married and his wife is perfectly ok with our friendship. I think she knows that he and I can talk about things of common interests and gripes.
In fact, every single friend of mine will keep me on the phone for 30 minutes all the way up to 3 hours.
NO LIE!
So, ALL of my friends LOVE to talk.
On the other hand, the sister that I'm now estranged from HATES talking.
She DICTATES to me HOW she expects me to converse with her.
Facts only - no details.
How the fuck do I know what she considers details?
What's important to me in my life means zero to her.
This is what she emailed me after I sent her a factual and detailed email about her and how I feel.
Her email:
Title: A short response to your incessant rambling
Great! I'm finally rid of your ass. Take me OUT of your will. COMPLETELY OUT. Put me on the Do Not Call When You Die List. Go, be with your family. I'm released. Now I don't have to listen to you talk and talk and talk and talk about absolutely nothing. Just like Dad used to say, "She never shuts up. She's just like my Mother."
Lose my phone number and my email.
All future emails from you will go unread and straight to trash.
Ta-Ta.
So, telling her exactly what I'm telling my beloved friends about Chad's medical progress has her panties all wound up!
Not one of my friends huffs and puffs in the background while I'm talking like she does. Not one of my friends mumbles in the background "I wish she'd fucking shut up" like she does. AND my friends converse with me, asking questions along the way.
Again - she wants 'facts' only.
But the huffing & puffing and mumbling begin IMMEDIATELY when I start talking.
Also, this is happening because she's TOTALLY PISSED about the scorching heat we are enduring.
When she's pissed about something, God forbid that I talk to her EVEN BRIEFLY!
I wonder if she's bi-polar.
?
She's also a "BEAR" when she's hungry.
Acts like a fucking child - no shit!
When I moved to Cypress, Texas to be less than 2 miles from her,
I was in a horrible state of depression.
Lost my husband 12/31/2018.
Hurricanes Laura & Delta hit in Aug & Sept 2020.
Sister & I started talking again after 7 years.
So in a short span of time after the hurricanes,
sister and I 'make up'; I move to be close to her, leaving my home, my friends, my hometown.
That turned out to be a hard lesson learned!
BUT, I'm grateful that I was able to do it.
After THREE short months, I knew that I had made a grave mistake!
By 5 months, sister was PISSED about Russia invasion in Ukraine and got REAL UGLY with me. She even told me that I should just move back to Lake Charles and be with my wonderful friends.
BTW, I just LOVE the tone she uses when she says "Wonderful friends".
She's definitely JEALOUS.
So, that's exactly what I did!
I planned my move and sold the house and moved back to my house that Joe (my hubby) and I had built in 1997.
Thank God my BFF and family needed a place while they fixed up their home from hurricane damage.
My and Joe's home became theirs for 10 months.
Then when they moved, I was able to move back into my wonderful HOME in my little hometown where all of my wonderful friends are!
God has always led me on the right path of direction.
Am I sad about this now estrangement with my sister?
No.
She's shit on me for the very LAST TIME.
She shit on "MY FAMILY" and I do not take kindly to that!
I don't need people like her in my life.
They always say to distance yourself from people like this.
So, her email confirmation was what I needed to hear.
Now, don't get me wrong...
I was blunt with her on email.
I let her know that I didn't understand how she could be unempathetic, especially with a sister.
I also judged her about having only 2 friends, both of which she bitches & gripes about all the time. Never a good word about them. How she professes to be a Christian but until she lives the part, it doesn't mean 'diddly shit' (my Dad's famous words).
This sister demands recognition.
If she does the slightest nice thing for you,
boy you better be ready to praise and thank her for the rest of your life!
If you don't meet her expectation of thanks,
she will let you know!
Believe me, I know first hand!
Your profuse thanks, along with a heartfelt written thank you note, just isn't enough in her eyes.
So, I give up!
If she ever writes me in the future wanting to be acquaintances, which she's done before in the recent past, I've decided that it's best that we never talk and I will let her know it's because she will NEVER EVER AGAIN DICTATE to me HOW I'm going to converse.
A simple Happy Birthday & Merry Christmas
is the extent of my willingness to be in her life.
And if this doesn't come to pass, oh well!
I'm sick and tired of her demeaning words towards me and her being judgmental of me.
It's not worth it to have her in my life.
I feel RELIEVED!
